Church or Civil Ceremony

Welcome back to my Wedding Planning blog and

Congratulations, on your forth coming wedding.   Your boyfriend/girlfriend has proposed marriage and you have accepted.

Parents/family/friends have been given the great news.

Is it to be a long engagement or a whirlwind romance?

Have the parents of the bride been saving for years for their daughters wedding or have you caught them by surprise?

Are you and your partner paying for some or all of the wedding?

What is your budget?

Is it going to be a formal church wedding or a civil ceremony?

The answers to these questions will have to be taken into consideration before any wedding plans can be considered.

Of course you must have dreamt of this day a hundred times over and it’s natural for you to be super excited. You probably know exactly what your ceremony must look like and you surely must have all the details ready in your head. But you see, the wedding also involves another person namely your husband/wife-to-be and he/she must also have similar dreams and aspirations so make sure you discuss what you want you’re wedding to be like with him/her in detail. Let this dream be a mutual one and not just the fulfilment of just one of your wishes.

One of the first things you will have to consider is the time of year you wish to marry.  Have you a date in mind? 

Either way, whether it is to be a church wedding or civil ceremony, you will have to find out if your local church, registry office or any of the hotel’s that now advertise civil ceremonies are available for the date you have in mind.

This may be the first compromises in the planning of your wedding you will have to make.

Choosing your wedding ceremony Officiant.  This will be the person conducting the wedding ceremony.

It is a fact that the wedding reception gains the most number of discussions before the wedding. However, it is the actual ceremony where you must focus your attention. You will have to meet the Officiant or the prospective officiates before the wedding ceremony to discuss any such requirements that you have before the wedding. Find out if the officiate is an open-minded person who tries to incorporate your ideas into the ceremony, which would help you to decide whether you want him or them to officiate. There are certain questions you must ask, and they are the following:

  • Will the Officiant  deliver a speech or a sermon?

• Will the Officiant  show you the sermon so you can review it before the ceremony, and if necessary, then provide some inputs?

• At what time should the Officiant  come for the rehearsal?

• Does the Officiant  think that counselling is required before the wedding?

• Will the Officiant  accept personal non-secular inputs for the wedding ceremony, like vows, songs and readings?

• What will be the costume of the Officiant ?

• Is it necessary to bring the license of marriage to the ceremony, or is signing it required before the ceremony?

• Does the Officiant  know of any wedding site, in case you have not already zeroed in on one?

• If the Officiant  also acts as the officiate of the site, are there restrictions there that you need to know before hand like, tossing items, dress code, décor, music, photography and taking of video?

• What are the items that the Officiant  can provide and what are the things that you must make arrangements for? Such things to consider are microphone, isle runners, pews etc.

• What is the fee for the ceremony? Or is to be considered as a donation?

Important Things to Consider

Some Officiant  may posses a serious and formal demeanour, while others may be casual and friendly types who add their own special humour to the officiating process. 

In case the Officiant  bears no relation to you, you must think out about your comfort level with him or her and if you would be happy to see this person as your Officiant , because he carries out the most crucial part of the wedding. A wedding takes place between two people to make them man and wife, and the Officiant  is the first person to declare this to the world. You should have a rapport with the Officiant  before you make him an everlasting part of this happiest and closest moment of your entire life.

Do not shy away from discussing personal affairs with the Officiant  before the big day. He or she can be there for you to resolve problems that can be spiritual and mundane including the conflicts within your family members, if any such need arises.

You must not forget to invite your Officiant  to the dinner rehearsal also. It’s a friendly move from your side. This is also a terrific way you can introduce your family members and friends to the Officiant .

p.s. I said I would tell you about one event at my wedding.  Just a quick note.  Make sure the bride and bridesmaid have some light refreshment before leaving for the church.

We had organised for the photographer to come to the house before leaving for the church for some photo’s, unfortunately due to timing we all missed having something to eat and the wedding breakfast was not until 5.00pm. Half way through the ceremony, there was an almighty crash as one of the bridesmaids, one of my three sisters, fainted and had to be carried from the church.  She wasn’t injured, but the priest just informed us of what had happened and carried on with the ceremony.  My sister was mortified, apologising afterward, thinking that she had ruined my day. It was to be just one of many unforeseeable incidents.

Advertisement